I love my body

Recently, a woman in a group I am apart of, asked women who had battled with eating issues if they loved their bodies?

Here is what I had to say in part of my personal response.

I hope it encourages anyone who has struggled with self acceptance and love.

I love my body.

I’m so thankful for it - feel blessed to be able to live within it - thankful for the ability to meet it where it’s at.

I can’t deny that I would trade it in for a newer, pain free, deluxe edition model - lol,… but damn, she has been so good to me. And, finally, I am now so good back to her. (Yep, that puts some tears in the eyes,…)

I have lived a life of poor health - poor nutrition.

Being raised in a funeral home, when I incurred health / hormonal issues as a child, they focused on my mental health and prescribed birth control at 12 years old ( my periods started at 9) vs addressing what was physically the issue.

In my head, I knew something was physiologically the problem. And, I knew I wasn’t “crazy”.

Being surrounded by death, if you were not dead or dying, you should be thankful and count your blessings.

I value my upbringing tremendously.

It taught me to be happy in even the darkest of situations. It taught me to value our one precious life and know it can truly be gone in an instant for myself and all of us. But, my upbringing very much neglected my own personal needs and minimized any probable issues I may have. Again, I’m not dead.

At 14 years old, I began a 16 year battle with bulimia. It was gnarly. In an effort to help myself and others, I dove myself into my education in health and behavior.

Still, I battled.

I then dove myself into fitness and competing. Landing the covers of magazines. Getting my pro card.

Still, I battled.

Then at 28 years old, I checked myself into an outpatient eating disorder clinic. I missed my first two appointments.

But, after being diagnosed as an insulin dependent diabetic, having a severe spine injury from a fall and being legally blind from my diabetes and the over 100,000 I have purged in my life time,.. I knew I couldn’t end my life without fighting the biggest fight for my self.

But, I’ll say, even through the working of the battle, the disordered eating and control showed up in other ways within my life. Working to overcome the battle of my eating disorder, helped me to furthermore work through other self sabotaging behaviors. And, still does.

Today, I honor and love my body.

I give it delicious food that I know is going to help it become better and use it as medicine for my mind, body and soul. I have greatly studied food as medicine and the conditions foods treat - along with the emotional and spiritual benefits to eating particular foods.

For the spirit of God to come alive within me, my body deserves to nourished, loved and fed.

It deserves to be cared for in the highest regard.

How I love and honor myself and the Goddess within me is to show you and others exactly how to do the same.

I  also see the fruits of my labor - the power behind my actions - the benefits of honoring and loving myself, — moving my body, self massage / self reiki, positive self care affirmations, prayer in the spirit, scriptures and breathing techniques.

I can’t even begin to express the healing from my injuries - the healing of my diabetes - the changes I see, feel and appreciate through the daily love I choose to give back and forth to myself.

How powerful - how capable - how able - how resilient we are.

Every day I am grateful, thankful and blessed to be here.

Not perfect.

But having the perfect human experience.

My recommendation to you & to all the women I coach, teach and support  (some who have had some extreme health issues far grander and greater than my own) in order to get to the flip side of where you are - you need to open your heart to love, accept and appreciate all of who you are now.

Because the you right now is gonna be the same you in there - in that body until the day you leave this earth.

Six pack abs, a tighter butt, loosing your pooch or dropping to the weight you want - doesn’t change you inside of you.

You think it may - but,… it’s the journey of self love that really does the change inside and out.

We are physical, mental, emotional, spiritual beings and all parts of us deserve to be cared for.

Allow your actions and daily habits to mimic  and match all that you desire for yourself.

Have integrity with your words and actions.

What you say - what you want - take the steps to make it yours.

You really deserve to live a life of freedom.